Hot!
Lizard!
Lesbian!
Action!
“But-but-but, that isn’t a thing. Lizards don’t indulge in sweet, sweet lesbian love,” you said in between long drags of some crazy-cold Mad Dog 20/20. Oh, classy reader with great taste in wine (I recommend grape Mad Dog 20/20), it is a thing and the Desert Grassland Whiptail Lizard sure as shit is full blown lesbihonest.
Here is a picture of two lizard ladies doing their lizard lesbian thing:
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How do I know that these lizards are both female? Because ALL Desert Grassland Whiptails are female. Yes, all of them. Every. Single. One. Think: the Amazons, but their princess isn’t made out of clay; she is made out of parthenogenesis.
When Desert Grassland Whiptails ovulate, the egg goes through parthenogenesis witchcraft and a viable embryo is created (I’m not EVEN trying to explain parthenogenesis here, but it is pretty good meiotic stuff). What do ya know, virgin-births actually are real!
Why the lesbianism? If they don’t need a partner to reproduce then what is the point of dry-humping your sorority sister? Because they like it, of course. Plus, the simulated coitus trigger hormones that stimulate additional ovarian action (more ovarian action means more embryos).
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Who is the top and who is the bottom during the deed? They take turns depending on where each is in their hormonal cycle. Seriously!
Are they monogamous? Nooooooooo!!!! Home-girl here had her run of the ladies on this day, I can tell you. It was quite a lizard orgy!
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Okay, now that you are fueled up on that good-good Mad Dog vino and stimulated by hot lizard lesbian action I’ll leave you to go do some “research” on interwebs. Thanks and you are welcome!
Note 1: apparently Mad Dog 20/20 has been re-branded as MD 20/20. The next time my parole officer asks me if I have been drinking I’m still saying that I am blackout on Mad Dog.
Note 2: I wasn’t sure if it would be grammatically correct to say Hot Lesbian Lizard Action or Hot Lizard Lesbian Action. So, I googled Hot Asian Lesbian Action JUST to make sure that I had the correct grammar. After about an hour of research I accepted that Hot Lizard Lesbian Action was correct. The Starbucks that I did the research in will never be the same. Sorry, not sorry!
