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Instafriends

Would you believe, my little tasty cakes, that I rarely meet people who actually want to see wildlife?  It seems that I’m the weirdo in my social group that wants to see sexy jaguars and gorgeous great white sharks.

Okay, I might be the weirdo in my social group for other reasons, but I digress.     

Nay, I have to retreat to the Interwebs to find other in-person wildlife adventure loving boys and girls.  I find that the best place to do so is on the Instagram.     

Man, I pimp my IG as much as possible.  I’m stuck in the purgatory of 190-200 followers.  Please, people, follow me, love me, want me!  

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It was on the IG that I met a fellow named Ed and his squeeze Sally.  

Ed loves snakes.  

I love snakes. 

Between our enjoyment of each other’s snake posts we became Instafriends.  Sally joined in on the fun because who doesn’t love a good snake party.  

Look at that SEXY northern water snake!  

Here is the thing with Instafriends – being connected on social media ain’t the same as being connected in real life.  Unfortunately, I don’t get to have many really-real world crossovers with my Instafriends because they live all over this filthy planet.  

Not Ed and Sally.  They live Pittsburgh with me.  We all yinzers!  

Told ya – I’m a yinzer…a damn fine looking yinzer, if I may say so…. about myself.

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As everyone knows, rattlesnakes are slithery and sexy AF.  Ed and I decided that it was time to meet in person in an effort to see some sexy AF rattlesnakes.  Makes sense, right?

We got Sally all shined up and then ventured deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness to search for our slithery bitey friends.  

I recently stepped on the venomous fer-de-lance while walking on a trail.  Keep your eyes open at all times while in snake country!  

We did find some bear scratchings.  

All of the telephone poles in this part of the world have been shredded by bears.  They are freaking vandals!  

And we found a few rattlesnake skins.  

We know that the rattlers were in the area, but they eluded us.  Why are the sexiest of beasts always eluding me?!

But we didn’t find any sexy rattlesnakes.  Trust me, the f’n things are elusive.  One day!  One day I’ll find you snakes!  

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What we did find was friendship!  

Sally and Ed are just the nicest sweetest people.  I really enjoyed spending time with them.  I hope that when it gets warm up that we can reconnect and finally find those rattlesnakes!  

Yayyyyyy to Instafriends becoming actual friends!     

That handsome devil on the right is Ed, the eye-candy in the middle is Sally, and that Golem looking son of a bitch on the right is me.  

Okay, so this whole “meeting people over the Internet” thing worked.  Time to hit Craigs List and see who I can meet on there.  What can go wrong?  

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