Stormy mutha f’n Daniels!
Sex: Stormy Daniels is so good at making the sex that people pay her to do it on camera. She has been out there for years just banging away – dudes, women, and allegedly The Donald!
And do you know what The Donald likes to talk about when he and Stormy are done having orange-as-hell-coitus? SHARKS! He likes to talk about how much he hates sharks.
“You could see the television from the little dining room table and he was watching Shark Week and he was watching a special about the U.S.S. something* and it sank and it was like the worst shark attack in history. He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks. He was like, ‘I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die.’ He was like riveted. He was like obsessed. It’s so strange, I know.” – Stormy Daniels from In Touch Weekly.
Donald Trump…hates sharks!
DONALD TRUMP HATES SHARKS!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Look, man, who knows if these tawdry tales of Cheeto romance are true or not.
It don’t matter if it is true or not. What does matter is that a lot of people hate The Donald.
When In Touch Weekly broke the Stormy Daniels’ story people read his comments about hating sharks and got pissed. Like, so pissed that donations to shark conservation non-profits spiked.
“The Atlantic White Shark Conservancy in Massachusetts also reported an increase in donations over the past week.
‘We are grateful for the public’s support and will be using the contributions to fund shark research and our education programs,’ CEO Cynthia Wigren told ABC,” – from ABC 7.
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I seriously doubt that all of these donations were made by shark-lovers. Nope, these donations were made by people that wanted to give an F-U to The Donald. Really, who cares what their motivation is? Somehow, some way, the President of the United States and a porn star just accidentally raised a crap ton of money for shark conservation. Stranger things have happened, right? Right?
*Stormy Daniels might be tremendous at getting down on film, but she apparently doesn’t know much about World War II naval battles. It’s okay if she stays in her lane. For the rest of you that maybe aren’t so good at making sweet, sweet love on camera, she is referring to the USS Indianapolis. The Japanese torpedoed the Indianapolis out at sea and the survivors were adrift for days in the open ocean. Sharks ate the crap outta these guys.
Quint from Jaws references this incident in the movie.
You knew that already though!
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