Animals can be a-holes.  There, I said it!  I’ve been thinking it for quite a few years and I am glad to finally get it off of my real gorilla chest.

If any of you have ever tried to take a quality picture of an animal – wild, domestic, or party – then you have probably realized that for every picture like this…

Just look at that profile!  Not a bad picture for a Nikon Cool Shots

There are 100 pictures of this…

You a-hole!

Why?  Because animals are difficult and frustrating little SOBs.  They constantly fidget, turn their asses to the camera, flee when they spot you, and partially or completely hide behind obstructions.  It is almost as if they know that the camera is going to capture their soul and they want to thwart your efforts.  I would say that these tactics are brilliant and that I appreciate them if they didn’t infuriate me so.

Herbivores are the absolute worst!  They don’t get so tubby by forgoing meals (neither do I).  You can sit and watch one animal for quite a while waiting for it to stop shoveling food into its mouth and to show its pretty face.  If you get lucky it does.  If not, well, it will either keep eating, show your its ass, or just move behind some obstructions.  They know that you are looking, and possibly going to blog about them, so why not F with the puny human.  Why not???

Hey, handsome, look at the camera

Don’t think predators are too much better.  For every picture like this…

If I had proud testicles like that I would want my picture taken all day every day. In fact, I would demand it!

I have a few dozen like this…

Carnivores are a-holes too

I know what you are thinking, “If you got a picture of an animal taking a massive dump would that be adequate recompense for their standard difficult nature.”  Yes, of course!  I am not a savage.  Every photographer* dreams of having a portfolio of wild animals taking massive dumps.  Sigh, I’m just not that fortunate.

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to yell at some teenagers out on the street to keep them from coming near my lawn.  Id Eco Super-Eco out!

*I should have said “photographer”.